My Wax Me

While we were in the wax museum Kasie thought it would be a good idea if I pretended to be someone famous and see if anyone would take their picture with me. I stood there by Samuel L. Jackson off and on for a while and quite a few people actually did stand right in front of me and stare at me trying to figure out what famous tall person I was. We only took one picture of a little girl standing by me and it turned out blurry, but here is a short video clip that gives you the idea. The guy in the background is Samuel L. Jackson and the guy in front is me in case you couldn't tell the difference.

An ugly incident in New York

Whilst in New York this month it became obvious to me that I am irresistable to women. I was just walking down the street wearing a hat and t-shirt and suddenly Tyra Banks, Elle McPherson, and many other famous women all swarmed to me like so much bees to the proverbial honey as it were. There was an awkward moment or two when a cat fight erupted betwixst them all to see who would be my date. Then after I let that play out for a while, I had to break the news that I am currently married. I said "currently" to see if another cat fight would ensue with them and Kasie. It did and Kasie defeated them all with a series of spinning roundhouse kicks. The only consolation prize for them was that I allowed them to each take a picture with me. As you can see, some of the women were better sports than others. Selma Hayek (top picture) looks especially dejected at not being selected as my main squeeze. J Lo continued to glare at the other women, especially Kasie, with extreme venom.

New Jersey

I went to New Jersey for a training meeting recently and Kasie decided to tag along. While there, we discovered why Hank Aaron was such an amazing baseball player. Here is a picture of me and a statue of him. By the way, that statue is life size. No wonder he was so awesome. Immediately after this picture was taken, the statue came to life and smashed me like a bug with his angry bronze fist.

We ate at "Casa Dante" that night complements of Dylan Tanner's insistence that we go. The food was very good but the neighborhood was not.

Eye of the Tiger

When one thinks of the "Eye of Tiger" as many of us do throughout the day, the image of Rocky III or some other inspiring image may spring to mind. I however, think of a young boy who has the courage to fly in the face of convential thinking. He lives life with pants off and sunglasses on. The proof that he is rocking out is only visible in the twitch of one knee. I hope he will inspire you as he has inspired me.

Lucky Suit?

On my latest trip to "Casual Male XL" (for truly, who if not I exemplifies the qualities of an XL casual male?) I stumbled upon a small treasure. Perhaps I am underselling it, let me rephrase. It was the greatest thing that has ever happened to any man inside any casual male XL store since the beginning of time.

I was looking for shoes and not having luck when the proprietor of said store asked if I would be interested in a 44Long suit. He showed it to me and I said it was nice, but then he dropped the atom bomb of all price quotes. How about $45 dollars? He said that it was ringing up at that price when they got it in the store, which is at least $200 less than any other suit they had in stock. I assumed that someone had been buried in it, dug up, then the suit had been put on the rack. No sir! This suit was brand new, and never been worn. It seemed destiny had brought me and my lucky suit together and no force on earth would tear us apart (except perhaps a future spaghetti stain that the dry cleaner can't get out). Here's a winning picture of me and my lucky suit, ready to take on the world. Hopefully you'll see pictures of me and the lucky suit accepting the nobel prize and winning the heavyweight championship of the world soon.

2,010 calories
131 g fat (68 g saturated)
153 g sugars




I read on the internet one day an article about the worst drink in America. The #1 worst offender to health consciousness everywhere would be the one pictured above along with its glorious statistics . It's called the Cold Stone PB&C shake. It stands for peanut butter and chocolate and it is not for the faint of heart or stomach. I like many of you had the overpowering urge to run and buy one. It was delicious but I think I may have diabetes now...

credit card fraud?

So this month's credit card bill came and there were several charges from match.com an internet dating service, and skype-which I thought was a free internet call service, but apparently there are charge services as well. So I figured someone had somehow gotten our card info and started off their relationship on a basis of theft and lies. Good luck to them with that. If you ever meet someone on match.com be sure to ask them if they stole the credit card to pay for the membership. If they say, "no" tell them they are a liar and hang up. If they say "yes", tell them you find their honesty refreshing, agree to meet them for lunch, and then tell the police to show up at that time to arrest them. I suppose that by following my advice you'll technically never find anyone on match.com, but it's the right thing to do. This is the picture that's on match.com currently by the way. The man is only shown in that face on the floor position because the police have just arrived and are pushing him to the ground so they can handcuff him and take him to jail for stealing my credit card to try and meet women.