power bill

So, remember when the West family used to use electricity at their house? Yeah, those were good times. That was before I opened the $1,400 power bill yesterday. Needless to say, there some immediate changes were instituted.

First, this is our new clothes dryer.


It uses way less electricity than our old one did.


Change #2: This is what I look like now.

I know what you're thinking.

First, that looks a lot like Weird Al. I don't really see the resemblance, but whatever.

Second, how does growing a huge beard save power? Static electricity. Duh- think about it. Third, why would you dress in heavy black clothes? Wouldn't that make it hotter? Yes, actually you're right. It's ridiculous, but I look super cool.

But the point is, we're getting back to our roots. Going green. We're going to be using candles for lights and paper fans for breezes from now on. Refrigeration is for morons and electricity is for losers I say. I lost at least 3 years of my life when I opened that bill. I can't afford to do that every month.

Kasie asked yesterday, "Is this how we're going to live the rest of our life?" (Read that in the expasperated tone of a woman who has recently crossed the plains in a covered wagon and just looked over the top of a recent rise, only to see hundreds more miles of wilderness ahead of her. That should give you an idea of the precise tone. The thermostat was set to 84, which was why all the moaning.) "Of course not," I said. "Once the winter comes, it won't be this hot."

So if you were looking to buy Kasie a sympathy gift. Might I suggest this title?

The good, the bad, and the ugly part 2

School has begun! Hooray! The kids are overjoyed and so is their mother!


1st day of school.

Now onto the bad. When dropping off Kasie at the car rental place there was no problem getting in. The problem was getting out. You need a ticket to get out. I dropped her off and she walked to the airport terminal leaving me alone. There was no attendant. I thought I would be smart and just follow the car in front of me out when they left. Gate goes up, tire rippers go down. 1st car through. Me burning rubber to follow.


Halfway through, gate comes down, tire rippers go up. Poppy, poppy goes the tire. Scratchy, scratchy goes the gate as it drags all along the top side of the car.
Here's the normal side of the car.


Here is the totally scratched side of the car.

The good news is that I've always been curious about how it would feel to go over tire rippers. Now I know. At least the tires weren't brand new. Oh, wait. Yes they were.

The next good news is that Kasie got lasik and can see so clearly now.

The bad news is that with her previously impaired vision, this is how she thought I looked.

Now that she's had her vision improved, she now realizes that I actually look like this.