Hyrum gets his.

Ha ha! The park posts are never-ending! In this episode young Hyrum wanted to play so Neal and decided to play "airplane" with him.



Look at the whippersnapper's terror!


With the strength of 1 million men, we swung the young chap through the air upward toward the top of the tower.
(If you were wondering how that breaks down, the addition works out as follows: Neal-strength of 1.5 men + Me-strength of 999,998.5 men = strength of 1 million men)

Up and up he soared.


We unfortunately realized that with our combined strength that he would be hurled thousands of feet into the air. We quickly grabbed his ankles before he soared away into the stratoshpere.


And the point after is good!



That called for a manly celebration of high-fiveitude. The resulting sonic boom that resonated from our Olympian-esque palm strike brought down 2 sparrows and was measured as a 2.0 magnitude richter scale event.

Lucky 13

I'm stealing the post title from my niece Aubrey's post about her daughter, #13 winning $1,000 in the baby derby. (That previous sentence sort of implies that Aubrey has 13 daughters-which she doesn't-yet.) Almost nothing is cooler than your lazy baby finally getting a job and bringing home a $1,000 first paycheck. Almost nothing, except for.....wait for it.......being married 13 years to a talented, brainy, super-babe.
Someone who is a great mother and great friend- even if most of them are imaginary internet friends.
Someone who still makes you laugh when she dances dorkily in front of the T.V.
Someone who still tells me that I'm a catch to make me feel young and studly.

Whoa. This post just got super gross and mushy, but it's been a great 13 years. I still remember when she agreed to marry me after I told her that I was holding her entire family hostage and would slay them if she didn't. Don't judge me, how else would I get her to marry me?

Here's a picture of the happy young couple early on:

And here's a more recent picture of my wife that I cropped myself. I'm quite proud of it. Some people just get better with age. How is she more beautiful now, 13 years later? Plastic surgery. Tons of it.
Just kidding, I would attribute it to her faith and positive attitude. She's pretty amazing. This explanation also explains why I look like I've aged about 50 years since the picture above. I could learn a lot from Kasie. I could, but it sounds like too much work and being a debbie downer is much easier for me.

And here's what we got for our anniversary. We left some room to grow on the entertainment set. The way TV's are going, I'm pretty sure that they will all be about 80" in a year or two and weigh 6 ounces and be 4-D so you can see backwards through time in them.
The word "Imagine" on the bookcase is in reference to me imagining that we still have any money left after blowing it all on this giant bookcase.

A piece of history

So here's a picture of me in front of the Liberty Bell in Philadelphia. I know what you're saying: It's cracked, throw it away. Well, guess what freedom lovers? Sometimes Freedom isn't perfect! Sometimes, it gets cracked and you just have keep ringing! Sometimes.....Ok, this isn't working. I tried to be patriotic and work in a powerful liberty bell analogy but it's failing. Anyway, I loved seeing a part of this great country's history. Also, a shout out goes to Chris Ortiz for designing the shirt I'm wearing, "the original dropkick". Hope he is drop kicking his mission so to speak, like he drop kicked his friend on the t-shirt.

Portrait of Dad

"This is you, dad!" my son told me after drawing this masterpiece. I don't mean to brag, but I believe my son may be an artistic genius. The good news is that he almost exactly captured what I look like right now in my life. The likeness is incredible.
The bad news is that he almost exactly captured what I look like right now. the likeness is incredible.
I need to hit the gym. Those arms and legs are like toothpicks! And apparently, I could use a positive attitude adjustment. Note the look of grim stoicism instead of an optimistic "I can conquer anything" smile of confidence. I didn't realize that my mood was coming through so transparently to my son. Well, he's taught me a valuable lesson through his art. Also, is he making a statement about my posture? I see a definite lean there. Thanks, son!