okay maybe not the final painful post

Neal knew that he needed to stop climbing around on things because he kept getting hurt. So he decided to just push Autumn-what could go wrong with that?

I'll tell you what could go wrong...physics. Unfortunately, Neal forgot Einstein's law of swings which states:
That which is pushed away from you on a swing, will definitely come back and hit you in the solar plexus and face. Unless of course, you utilize the "underdog" principle, which will carry you forward past the path of return swingitude.
Look it up, it's a real thing. Not just something I made up.