Jay-Z

I went to a concert on Saturday that I thought was pronounced "Jay's" as in "Jay's polka/gypsy melody by The Emeralds". Google it. It's hot. Here was the countdown with 9 minutes to go:



Here it is at 8 minutes and 54 seconds to go:



Here it is with 8 minutes and 47 seconds:



Anyway, you get the idea. Apparently though I was very confused. I was expecting this:



Much to my surprise, I got this:



His name is pronounced "Jay-Zee" and my ears rang for the rest of the night. There were speakers there that were as big as my truck. The base vibrated my liver until it liquified. I'm pretty sure I'll have to go to the Dr. to get it fixed. Here is a short video:



He appreciates all y'all energy. We were in a box seat which was cool because I didn't have to mingle with the filthy commoners and there was only a few of us there-my brother in law Jared being one of them. He has deep soul roots from his mission years in South Africa. Plus we had our own bathroom which is nice. Jay-Z is worth somewhere in the hundreds of millions of dollars and is married to Beyonce Knowles, who is also worth hundreds of millions of dollars. At the end of the show he said he started with nothing but his ambition and said if we had a dream, we could do it too. That's why I'm here to announce my own rap career. I shall be called "Pasty Whiteness" and I will be going on tour in 2012 with "Vanilla Ice". There are still a few details to be worked out, but needless to say, Kasie is a lucky woman to be hitched to my rocket-wagon of success.