While we were in New York we ran into several other of my friends/acquaintances/political rivals. This first picture is my old Jockey friend Bill Shoemaker. Little beknownst to most of you, Bill and I go way back to when we were both in jockey school together. Even though they kept taking my checks and telling me that if I just kept paying I'd be great someday; I actually think I was never destined to be a jockey. Perhaps it was the fact that my knees kept hitting the horse in the ears when we rode.
Speaking of "Bills", there's me and my homeboy Bill Gates. I've finally forgiven him for ripping off my idea of becoming the richest man in the universe. Technically, I didn't have any "marketable" ideas, or any "skills" to speak of. However, it was always my idea first to become mega-wealthy and he stole my dream. I had called "dibs" on it years ago. In this picture I'm whispering that if he doesn't give me 10 billion dollars I'm going to reveal to the world his dark secret, that he originally wanted to call his software "Silly Billy's Willy Nilly Computa-madilly!" True story.
Why won't this guy ever give me some privacy so I can just do my job? He's always pestering me to let him use the phone and the whitehouse "guitar hero" game. He's like an annoying little brother sometimes. Note my look of impatience as he rudely listens in on my call to Uzbekistan.
Hello Dali! That one always kills him. Ah, what can I say about my partner in peace, the master of meditation, the king of karma-The Dali Lama!!!! Now go back and read that in the voice of a pro wrestling announcer. That will give you a feel for what it sounded like for real when "the Lama" and I fought as a tag team in the 80's. We actually took the intercontinental title belts from Andre the Giant and Randy "Superfly" Snooka on a technicality. They hit us in the back of the heads with chairs and were disqualified.
Finally, my twin brother Brad Pitt has been begging me to take a picture with him for ages. The resemblance is uncanny for sure, however, I think my eyes look a little weird- maybe I'm just being self-conscious though.
Never heard of any of them. The red and white eye look is a good one for you.
ReplyDeleteShooting Star,
ReplyDeleteI can understand you never hearing of Brad Pitt, the Dali Lama, and President Barack Obama, but how have you never heard of Hall of Fame super-jockey Bill Shoemaker? This is unforgivable and you are now dead to me.
Perhaps child birth has erased Aubrey's memory.
ReplyDeleteWhy must you make me laugh so? That was a 5-star post--quite entertaining! It's crazy how much I learn about you from your blog. Jockey school? Who knew?! And pro wrestling with the Dali Lama? I mean, I understand him wrestling but I never knew that you took up that sport. Did you live in Tibet too? It's uncanny how little I know of you after all these years.
I must show Neal this tomorrow!
ReplyDelete